Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
