If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
