So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I need to align my fucking chakras
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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