She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
