Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
