And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Can you bring me the toilet please
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
