I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
