I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
