"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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