I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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