I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
