we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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