He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
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