i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
