everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
