She said her name was "party"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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