is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
