this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
