I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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