I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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