and you said cock pushups were impossible
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
