so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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