I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize