I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
