My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
