i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
