i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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