was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
