he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
