that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize
