i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
