I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence