Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
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how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
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And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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