Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Farmville is her only friend.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
