Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
