sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
