The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
