i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
