I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
