I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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