i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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