in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
