Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
