doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
