I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
