If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
