playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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