WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
