i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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