How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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