Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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