Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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