This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
