A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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