one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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