Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
