i just google imaged poop.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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