meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Let's get the cat blown out
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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