Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
