its not stalking. its research.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
