Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
