bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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