I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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