Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
where are my eyebrows?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
