I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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