i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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