Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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