'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
